Is that toxic? Just human? Both? How do boys/men process it when we look in the mirror and ask ourselves those questions? How should we process it? In my book, Not So Pure and Simple, Del is complicated. If the harrowing stories that emerged as part of #MeToo movement are any indication, overwhelmingly those people are girls/women. What happens when the performance ends and the mask falls away? People get harmed. (Unfortunately, we know there are still thriving forums where some lowlife men embrace and cheer such behavior.)īut, niceness by boys/men, for an audience-as a means to a dating/romantic/sexual end-can be just as bad, if not worse…because it’s so deceptive. At this point, it’s almost a no-brainer that men who exhibit the blatant toxic behavior described above should not be emulated. In the worst cases violence can be encouraged everything from bullying, to sexual assault, and worse. Seeking dominance in the fictitious Alpha Male vs Beta Male dichotomy.Repressing emotions with the exception of anger.In the last few years there’s been a lot of necessary talk about Toxic Masculinity with the most obvious and harmful aspects getting the most attention, such as… All great stuff if the motives behind the behavior are as a pure as the behavior itself. One of the trickiest adolescent male performances is that of “The Nice Guy.” Because, in terms of behavior, what’s wrong with being nice? Please and thank you. This post was written by Lamar Giles, author of Not So Pure and Simple »
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May 2023
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